Thursday, July 23, 2015

John Pinette World Buffet Outbreak on Las Vegas Wizard of OZ buffet, Chinese Buffet, and Japanese Buffet


Well, it's a pleasure to be here because I was just in Las Vegas, so I need the money. I lost a lot of money. I really did. I mean. I get them back in the buffet. Don't get me wrong. $9.95 all you can eat -- well, let's see who win this freaking hand out. Won't we. I do believe I have blackjack. I was at the prime rib counter, going hit me again. The buffet manager was horrified. You should have seen him. He looks like a dear caught in a headlights, "Get the prime ribs back in the kitchen." He finally gave me my money back, "Here's your thousand. Get out!"

Actually they have a buffet in Las Vegas. It's called the OZ buffet. It's the wizard of oz theme. And it's a buffet. You walk up, and it's the emerald city. It's an all you can eat buffet. I ran to it, "we're out of the woods. we're out of the light. Prime ribs, and Pork chops. Scampi. Oh my. Prime ribs, and pork-chops, scampi oh my."

You know I talk buffets, not because I'm a big guy. I'm actually writing a book -- around the world in 80 buffets. And in my research, I found that some foods that shouldn't be all you can eat -- like Chinese food. Chinese food should not because you get hungry again. I don't know what it is. They put something in it. They must. Because I ordered take out and they are always real happy, "Oh, he's going to be back. I give that big boy 1 hour." Because you do get hungry again. What is it. You go to full to starving. There's nothing in between. You go to, "Oh my gosh. I can't believe I ate all that chow mien... Hey look they brought egg-rolls."

So I went to this Chinese all you can eat buffet. Mother of all -- He got pissed. I mean... He was rude. He comes out every hour, "Son of a bitch still here. Look he go again." He started to scream at me, "You go now! You here four hours. Why you here 4 hours. You not come here anymore. Why you have spare ribs? You so big. Eat vegetables. Eat broccoli. Your scare my wife."

I love Chinese food. It shouldn't be all you can eat. Now Japanese food -- for the all you can eat sushi place -- mmm... All the raw stuff I can eat, huh? It was $22.95 -- $22.95 for raw fish?! $22.95 you can throw this on a grill. $22.95 I can't even get a dollar worth. I brought a seal. I put him right under the table. "Arg, Arg. Another plate please." That seal ate buckets full. The owner thought I was eating it all though. I got yelled at again. This guy scared me though. He reminded me of lord Margarito from shogun. "Hey you. Big Boy. Big Boy. Come here. Eat you like free." It's, "You eat like free willy."

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