Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Joe Wong Driver License Organ Donor, Afraid of Bear, and Ugly Baby on Ellen


Hi everybody, so uh... I'm Irish. When I first got my driver's license, I decided to be an organ donor. And give my brain. Because it makes me happy to think that some guy wakes up from a coma, and goes, "Wassa Michelle Yahm. Whor Sheeur Shay La."

So I went to the amusement park a couple of years ago, and towards the end it's a scary ride. They took a picture of me screaming like this... And they try to sell it to me. So I bought the picture. And I put it on my driver's license -- Just to keep it real.

I have a friend. His name is Wie Di. And recently he said to me, "Hey Joe, Let's go to Canada to see some bears."

"Uhm. I'm kind of afraid of bears."

Then he said to me, "Hey Joe, you got to remember. The bears are more afraid of you, then you are with them."

I was like, "Well, I'm pretty sure that the bears are wrong."

And on top of that, I don't want to go near any bears with some guy whose name is Wie Die.

I was watching TV late one night. And uh they have this thing called the emergency broadcast testing on. I was like, "What if this was really an emergency? And I was asleep?" They should let us know when it's on, so I can tivo it.

I came into this country in the mid 90s. I watch lots of TV shows like the Jerry Springer's Show. And uh the funny thing is that, at the time, when i was really new to this country, I thought the people on the show were normal average Americans. It seems I was right.

A lot of bad economic news this year -- were you guys worried about the economy? I'm not. Cause I grew up poor, if i become poor again, I just feel young.

We have a two and half year old now. And uh... here's the thing. I came from a long island people that have kids. Oh you too, ok. But still, it's amazing. My son is really cute now. When he was first born, he was ugly. And I was not prepared for it. I was looking at him in the delivery room. And uh... tried to remember some of my ugly relatives, and to decide exactly who pass the ugly gene to my son, you know. And the doctor came in, and was like, "Congratulations! He looks just like you."

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