Saturday, August 28, 2010

Sinbad talks about Marriage, Team, and Bad Vision
DVD Exclusive - Sinbad - One Good Person
Big LakeA New Comedy from Will Ferrell and Adam McKayIt's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Marriage is about growing old together.  Marriage is about falling apart at the same time. That's what make it special. You live long enough (the two of you become one good person). You become one.  One can see. One can hear. One can walk. One can use a hand. You need each other. You have to go to movie together. One listens. One watches. You become a team.  One got a good right hip. One got a good left hip, so they can balance.  They so cute together.  No. They fall down. They need one another.

Once you've been somebody with so long, they just understand. If you have the same vision, you share glasses. You have glasses all over the house.  I think it's behind the stove.

I always had 20/20 vision all my life.  I can't see now.  You know how I found out?  I'm in the movie theater , and I was like, "Where's the focus at?" Usually people would join in with you, but they were like, "You might want to move down towards the front, Sinbad."

Now, I have this progressive glasses, so i can see far at the top and close at the bottom.  People say I can drive with it. Oh no you can't. You gotta learn the sweet spot. You gotta find the sweet spot. You know how many time I stop at the stop sign, and it's where out there somewhere.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hayes MacArthur dated a Russian Girlfriend
Hayes MacArthur - Booty Calls
Big LakeA New Comedy from Will Ferrell and Adam McKayIt's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Anyone in here been in a long term relationship. By long term. I mean you're having sex same person twice a week with no comments. That's love, right? That's true love isn't? Where we can get to that stage?

I was in a long term relationship for a while. I was dating this Russian girl. Apparently, when Americans speak to people, where English is their second language, we have a tendency to be very condescending. We speak very slowly and condescendingly to them, right?

We used to get into fights all the time. I walk into the bathroom, and say, "Honey, you left the curling iron ON for 4 hours. That's hot. Tshhh. Tshhh. Cause fire."

She would say, "Don't talk to me like I'm idiot. You think cause I have blonde hair, big boobs, and an accent that makes me stupid."

I said, "No, I think because you have blonde hair, big boobs, and an accent that makes you tolerable."

So we broke up.

Monday, August 9, 2010

First Kiss Advice: How I Met Your Mother

I did not chicken out. You know what?! I don't need to take "first kiss" advice from some pirate who has not been single since the first week of college.

Ted, anyone who's single would tell you the same thing. Even the dumbest single person alive. And if you don't believe me, call him.

Hey loser, how's not playing laser tag cause playing laser tag is awesome.

Hey listen, I need your opinion on something.

Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes, and SUIT UP!

So these guys think I chickened out. What do you think?

I can't believe you're still not wearing a suit.

She even didn't give me the signal.

What. She is going to bat her eyes in Morse code. Ted. Kiss me. No. You just kiss her.

Did Marshall give me the signal?

No! I didn't. I square.

At least tonight, I get to sleep, knowing Marshall and me will never gonna happen. You should have kissed her.

A week? That's a year in hot girl time. She will forget everything about you. Mark my words. You will never going to see that girl again.