Conan James Smith Single vs Relationship and Pregnancy

I am trying to decide either to be single or in a relationship. Now, when you are single, it's a lot like being unemployed. You say you want a job, but really you just want money. Because to weeks into the job, you are like, "Ah, that's right. I hate working." Exactly the same in a relationship. 2 weeks in you are like, "Ah that's right. I hate people." But I'm really lucky because I have this voice in my head, which keeps me very accountable. So if I see a beautiful women on the street. I'm like, "Oh, I would do anything to be with her." Then the voice kicks in, "Really? What would you do? Would you go to the gym? Would you get a job? Naw, you wouldn't would you? See why you are not with her?" Yeah, that's pretty clear thank you inner voice. I guess if the woman said, "Listen, if you go to the gym and get a job, I'll go out with you." Then, I probably work towards it as a goal, but i just refused to do it on expectations. I'm not walking around all fit with a great job -- just in case.

I'm trying to understand how life works. And I learned this. You have to date people that you really like. It can't be just physical. If it is, it's doom. Because men are bi polar when it comes to sex. Pre and post sex -- we are two different people. Pre-sex -- very enthusiastic, "Yes I agree with you. Ha ha ha. That is so funny." Just the lies, deceptions. Ah. I hear myself talking to women. I'm like, "shut up. ah." It's all for what? Just to get laid. But the second you climax, you're like, "what have I done?" It's like a murder. There's a naked body here. How do i get rid of it? I have left my own apartment after sex. Do you know how uncomfortable that is? They are looking at you going, "Where are you going?"

"I just... I can't... Just steal whatever you need."

Something happens to men during orgasm. Something leaves our body. I think it's interest. And you can't get that back for roughly an hour. And yet women are so comfortable afterwards. They're like, "What do you want to do now?"

"Anything. Not with you. I would do anything you like. You can't be there."

I adore women. I think they are incredible. Just the fact that they agreed to pregnancy. They're just like, "Yeah, sure. I'll let someone live inside of me -- for nine months."

Nine months?! People say to me, "Can you hold this?" I say, "No."