Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Jordan Rubin talks about picking up an Accent
Jordan Rubin - Going Abroad
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games

One of my friends just got back from England. He was there for 2 weeks, and he already has a British accent. It's really pissing me off.

He's like, "Do you want to go to a movie?"

When I was in college, I went to Africa for a month. I didn't go, "cluck, yeah, buu. clah, goo. dah. duh."

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Kevin Hart stopped working out at the Gym
Kevin Hart - The Gym
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games

The reason why I stop going to the gym is this. You see those big dudes? Real huge with no neck. Those strong dudes. I saw him one day, and I was like, "Dude, why are you still here? It's it. You won. You got em all. Why you still here?"

When you are that big for no reason. If you gonna get that big for no reason, it really makes me mad. If I am going to ask you why, you gotta have a reason: I am training for the Olympics, I am about to enter the strong man competition.

And if you that big and work for t-mobile. You strong as shit, but you can't handle the handset. Such a strong, unproductive man now, eh.

Adam Sandler is intimidated by Pretty Girls
Adam Sandler - Girlfriends
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games

I like looking at the pretty girls, but I don't like to talk to them. They get me nervous. I get intimidated.

My friend came up to me, and says, "Look at her she is beautiful. Go ask her out. What the worst thing that can happen? She says no."

So i go over, and ask her out. She says, "Get away from me you loser."

I was like, "I think you broke the rules there."

I can't break off with a pretty girl. Every time I look in her eyes, and I can't finish it up. I am like, "The things are kind of weird, and we are too young. What I am saying is 'do you want to get married?' So what do you say?"