Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Jim Gaffigan Kisses Kale Goodbye to his Diet

Can we stop with the Kale propaganda? That stuff taste like bug spray. I was looking at a can of bug spray, and said, "made with real kale."

Kale is a super food, and it's special powers is tasting bad. It's inedible. All you have to do is freeze dry it, cover it in cyan peppers, put in shake, and buried it in the ground. Kale is so good for you. It's like a really bitter spinach with hair. Kale is so good for you.

If I found out Kale cure cancer, I'm going to be like, "I'm going to do the chemo." I tried the kale.

Haven't we evolved as a species so we no longer have to eat things like kale.

You know there were cave-mans, "One day we will no longer go through weeds. We eat porter house steak, so we no longer sound like cookie monster. Now we go to yum, yum donuts."

Kale. I just can't stand the kale bragging, "I just had some kale." No one asked you. People talk kale like it's a band, "have you seen the new album by kale?"

I was at a school event cause I have a thousand children. One of the mom was nice enough to make bean soup. I went over, and taste it, "This is very good." And she goes, "I snuck some kale in there." And I wanted to throw the bowl at her because she is trying to impress me with a vegetable. "Oh wow. You smarty.

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