Friday, January 15, 2016

Should I have kids by Sebastian Maniscalco

You know I have a huge family. I got a sister. But I don't know. I don't know if I want kids of my own. I'm at this point now. My friends all have kids. They are always asking me, "Sebastian, when are you going..."

"I don't know if I want kids."

They are like, "What??? Oh Sebastian... Sebastian kids are a miracle. It's an amazing thing. Once you have one of your own, it's not about you any more. It's about them."

"Why the hell I want to do that?"

And it's not the kids that I have the problem with. It's the parents today. It's a different parent how we grew up. First of all, is everybody's kids fantastic? Why is everybody bragging about their kids? Don't we have anymore dumbs kids? My parents were honest with people. They never bragged about me. We went to the aunts and the uncles. As soon as we walked in, my father was, "Yeah, We don't know what the hell is wrong with him. I don't know. Something is off with this kid. Something is loose. Look how big his head is... Look at the head on this kid. Go in the basement. Play pong."

I always got my friends coming over, bragging about the kids, "Sebastian, she is so advanced. She is reading at a 4th grade level. She is only in 2nd grade. Show Sebastian the face... the face you make."

"I don't give..."

If your kid could fly from my backyard to my front yard, yeah, I might want to see that. "This is unbelievable. How is this happening?"

Whatever your kid does, nobody cares. They got their kids in every sports now a days, every activity. What are you doing? The kids are exhausted. Pick one thing for this kid to do. But no, the father, the mother can't fathom that child just might not be good at something. It's never the kids fault for lack of talent. It's the coach. You know they have to complain to the coach, "Coach, coach. Come here. Hi, we are the Gibsons. We are just wondering why our child is not participating in the game with the rest of the kids."

"Because he stinks. That's why we got a bench."

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