Monday, January 4, 2016

Russians are the Scariest White People on Earth by Dan Soder


I'm currently living in New York City, which you know, it's there. I have been living in New York about 6 years now. And when I first move there, I had a huge fear that I am going to get mugged constantly like every time I left the house. It's like, "here it comes. Someone is going to take everything." I got over my fears because I learn a trick. And now I use this trick all the time. Whenever someone ever might beat me up or mug me, I fake a Russian accent. Your welcome. It's genius. I'll be walking home late at night. 2 dangerous looking thugs walk up to me like, "Yo. Man. You know what neighborhood you are in?"

"You think this is bad neighborhood." Russians are the scariest white people. They have earned it. I'm so scared of them that I guarantee if I was lost, dangerously lost. There would be no way I'm going to ask a Russian for direction. Just real quick like, "Sir, help me. Please help me. How do I get to the subway?"

"The subway? Walk down street. Around corner."

"Ohhhh. Screw that. I think I'm just going to stay lost."

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