Thursday, January 14, 2016

Wet n Wild Palm Springs Waterslide Black Hole Bit by Sebastian Maniscalco Live


I did have a good summer. I took my niece to the Wet n Wild Palm Springs water-slide. Anybody have been in the Wet n Wild Palm Springs waterslide lately? I went to the Wet n Wild Palm Springs. I have not been there for 20 years. Things have changed people. When I was a kid, I had 2 bucks to get into the park. They give you a little shammy. There's one slide. I think it was called fun run. You go up 10 steps. You get your shammy. Throw yourself down. Whoosh. Wow. You would go so slow you would stop in the middle. Some more water would come. Whoosh. Oh ok. Ease yourself into the pool. No problem, right.

I went this pass summer. It was $29 dollars to get into park with no shammy. Instead the guy gave me a liability form. "Hey Sir, I want you to sign this please."

"For what?"

"Oh just in case you die of cardiac arrest on one of the rides here."

"How bad are the rides?"

So I go... The first Wet n Wild Palm Springs ride I go to is called the blackhole. It's 30 story up in the air. I get up there I'm out of breath. They got this carnie running the damn thing. "What's going on. Get in."

"Get in?"

You just don't throw yourself down in there with that silver bar. They don't got that anymore. This thing in a coffin... Threre's a door on it. "Get in there. Get in..."

"Alright."

So I get in this thing. The door slams shut. Speakers pop on. "Puff Puff. Cross your arms and your legs." Then without any warning. Puff. The floor drops under you. And you just... It's like a free fall. I didn't think there was a slide behind me. They just drop me 30 stories into a 3 feet of water. I'm careening down, and I happened to open up my legs in the entry into the pool. I still don't know where the bathing suite lining went.

So you know how it is... You go underneath water. And we pop up, and we don't know where the hell we at... We look like an idiot right. So what I do is I hold. I stay. Collect myself. Make sure my shorts are on. I do my hair. Then I come out of the water, cool, nothing happen. The guy next to me... didn't take the time. He just popped up, naked. Hair everywhere. He had this swimmer snot wrapped around him... People never noticed that wrapped around them, "Hey that's a good ride."

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