Best stage comedians at their funniest with punchlines all typed out for your enjoyment to read from richard pryor to louis c.k. and upcoming comedians with Youtube videos (monologue script)
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Aliens and UFO built the Pyramid documented in Netflix Documentaries Bit by Ryan Singer
I love thinking about aliens and space. You don't have to convince me that Aliens built the pyramid. I got Netflix, which mean I already believe that stuff. Obviously you have Netflix too. And if you are like me, you have seen one of the three thousand documentaries, streaming on Netflix about how the pyramid were built. And you too have probably been convinced, at the very least, we had a little bit of help, building those super structures, thousands of years ago. The way the light shaft lines up to the constellation, the geographical location of the pyramid on the globe, the way the line up geometrically to one another. We can fit 35 empire state buildings inside the biggest pyramid. Think about how enormous that is... And you think we built those by ourselves. It has been taken over 10 years to repave 2 miles 5 north of Glendale. And you think we built the pyramid? You are the crazy one dude, not me. I ain't crazy. Your rubber bounces off of me. You coo coo. I go even further than that. You can convince me with quite ease that aliens help us build any super structure that I have ever seen in my entire life.
Have you ever drive down the freeway and two other freeways cross over on top of you, the giant concrete formation? Good thing that my 99 Camry does not have a sunroof. Any building over 10 stories tall, "How does that building not fall down? It's so windy up there." How a dude over 6 feet 7 walk around all day? You top heavy. How you moving?
Any bridge over large amount of water like the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco... There's a bridge in the American South land that stretches over 30 to 40 miles of swamp land -- No solid land in plain sight. How the bridges stand still? How do they not collapse? It's so mushy down there. It's mushy man. Maybe those poles aren't even steel. Maybe those poles are made out of concrete. How did you get those concrete hard under water dude? How did you get concrete hard under water? You put a sexy lady in there. No. Sexy lady don't make everything hard -- just dicks and life.
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