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Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Mrs. Meyers Liquid Hand Soap Coconut Scent Issue by Demetri Martin
Clothing sizes are weird. They go small, medium, large, and then extra large, extra extra large, extra extra extra large. Something happen at large. They just gave up. They were like, "I'm not doing anymore adjectives. Just keep on putting extra on there." We can do better than that -- Small, medium, large, wow, easy, slow down, stop it, interesting, American.
I don't like it when I go into a clothing store, and I pick some clothes. Then I go to the dresser. Then they come and bother me when I'm in there, "How is it working out for you in there? You alright in there? How are you doing in there?"
I go, "Ahh... not too good. I think I'm going to kill myself. Can you get me a belt please?"
"Are you alright in there?"
"Yeah, I'm naked. Just popping some zits. Do you want to hop in?" Just leave me alone.
"How's it going in there for you?"
"Ah, alright. I couldn't find the toilet so I just went. You got to finish these bathroom stalls man. Also can you get me a few tshirts?"
My friends have Mrs. Meyers Liquid Hand Soap that smells like coconut. Mrs. Meyers Liquid Hand Soap is nice unless your hands are dirty from coconut. Then it's the worst soap possible. "I can't make sense of any progress in this situation. This is how I started out. This sucks."