Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Nsync Tour Irresistible Halftime Show Bit in NFL superbowl by Lewis Black

Then it was halftime. Halftime to the Super Bowl was the best. Because halftime to the Superbowl have gotten exponentially worst every year. I use the word exponentially because I was taught in math class. And that was the first sentence I used it. Exponentially worst means crappier and crappier and crappier. Last year, the half time show was presented by MTV. When I think music, oh yeah I think MTV. The people that have done everything they could in my life time to destroy music as I know it. In case you don't realize it. MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.

So who did MTV get to play at halftime? They get NSync. Sure, when I think football, I think NSYNC. It was interesting. I never heard Nsync play because, you know, when they come on, I like to take a pencil; shove it in my ear. And that would have been enough for a halftime show, but no. Quiet shortly there after, they are joined by arrow smith. I have Nsync and arrowsmith, and I am confused. Nsync and arrowsmith are two bands that shouldn't be in the same state at the same time. So Nsync and arrowsmith began to play, but what they play was not music. What you heard was the sound of chaos. I know that sound strange, but it's true. Because I can hear the sound of pigs being slaughtered. Women were weeping, and men smashing their teeth. I heard sounds that were so horrible, and if I were to repeat to you, you would just leave from this room with horror.

I'm like, "This is going to be over soon." I have been watching the half time show since I was eleven years old. But no. The boys are joined by Britney Spears. I have Nsync and arrowsmith and Britney Spears. I have the trifecta from hell. But I was lucky because I have a spoon in my hand. And I shoved it up my ass. You may wondering why. To distract myself from the pain. Because if I'm going to hurt that much, I'm going to do it to myself. Oprah calls that empowerment.

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