Thursday, December 31, 2015

Drew Thomas Learns the Importance of Fractions when Buying Weed


White people, you got good weed. I commend you because you use discretion. You get your weed from somebody called the guy. I don't know who is this guy is... You can ask any white dude anywhere. "Where did you get your weed from?"

"I get it from this guy. I see him on Tuesdays. Do you want me to pick you up something."

That's all you get.

I ask a brother, "Hey dawg, where you get your weed from?"

"From my cousin, he's at the holiday inn, right down the street. Won't you call him from your cell phone, so you can lock the number in."

Then they wonder why they get caught. It's 2 o clock in the morning, and your car is orange. That's why you got caught. You need a guy.

I had to go back to learn fractions just to buy weed from white people. I didn't know nothing about 8ths or quarters or nothing like that. Nobody told me that the bottom number was bigger that you get less. I had to rush down to home depot to get one of them rulers with the lines on them. The guy was like, "What you use them for?"

"I'm buying an eighth from a white guy. What's the eighth? Is that the line next to the quarter? Because I don't want to get ripped off. I want the right length."

I'm on the phone, telling my friends, "Don't worry about it. I got 2164th coming. We just put one in the freezer. This should last us till christmas."

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