Monday, January 12, 2015

Jim Breuer Advices All the Dads to Give their Mom Wife Plenty of Rest and Sleep or Else Havoc Unleashed the Devil

I am going to help every man in here. Again, they don't teach you about fatherhood, real fatherhood. The best thing you can do, as a father, is uhm, to make sure your wife, the mother of your children, get as much rest as possible. Because sleep deprivation, in a mother, leads to murder. You see it on the news, "Another woman drown her kid, and she just needed a nap. That was it."

And it's true. My wife is a beautiful woman, and she installs faith in life. She says to kids, "Make sure you thank god for a wonderful day and thank him foreverthing we have."

And if she don't nap, she don't sleep, the devil goes, "I'll take over from here." And there is nothing worse for a man, in the middle of the night at 5 in the morning. Your wife just sits right there at the edge of the bed, just staring at yah.

"Baby, what are you doing? Why are you so up early?"

"I'm so early? I haven't been to bed yet. I haven't had any sleep what so ever."

"We came to bed together at ten. And we went to bed..."

"No. No. No. No. You fell asleep at 10. I was up. Who can fall asleep when you fall asleep? Cause your mouth is always facing my way. It smells like somebody deprecated in your mouth, and your breath is disgusting. It's disgusting. You neeed to go to a doctor. I have no eyebrows left because of your breathe blowing on my face. And I kick you, and I shove you. You don't even move. You wouldn't wake up if we were attack on the middle of the night. You would hear nothing."

"Why don't you go to sleep?"

"I wish I could. I wish I could. And then just as I was ready to fall asleep, the 3 year old came walking in. She woke me up and filthy with pee. She peed in her bed again. She wet her whole bed. Then I had to change her clothes. Now she is mad and throws a fit. Then I throw a fit. We're running around, doing her clothes. Then I have to change the covers... Do you know why? Do know why she wet the bed? Because you gave her water before bed time. And tell you don't give the children any liquid before bed time or else they wet the bed. But you don't listen. You have to be the good guy all the time. By the way, I killed the cats."

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