Monday, January 19, 2015

Geoff Brown talks about the Relationship Struggle between Feeling it and Getting it


Baby. Babies make me nervous. Have any of you guys seen a size? Are babies getting bigger now, when they come out? My best friend's baby was 14 pounds, 14 pounds. They didn't even hold him like a baby. They hold him by the mouth like a fish. And he cries like a grown man, "Urrrrrr." It's ugh. His big head is large -- just abnormal. What if your body never caught up with your head? Just imagine people him laying at home now, "I can't leave. I can't leave." Big headed people make nervous too.

Ugly people make me nervous. I'm telling you. I mean, luckily, there are no ugly people around in the studio. The security is like, "ta ta ta, you can't come here. Your teeth looks like it came to the front to breathe. You can't. Ta ta ta. Lazy eyes -- I hate that. If there is somebody out there with that, cover you eyes when you talk to people. I'm tired of figuring out what you are trying to say. Go get a job at Magic Mountain, giving out tickets or something. Your dog is not disobedient. He is confused. He don't know what to do.

You know my next woman is going to be Latin. I love... I love... Latin women are worth every bullet in your car. Oh, she is just so fine, so sexy - until the age of 35. Then Jesus pulled a rip chord on a life raft. Ass and belly goes, "blah blah blah." When she unzips her pants, she gets shorter, "phsssshhhssh." That's what I'm looking for.

I think we put too much pressure on women -- what size they got to be, a certain shape to be. In fact ladies, I think that is wrong. God made you in all different shapes and sizes. This is true. This is true. If a man cannot love you and respect you for the size that you are, what the hell, maybe you need to lose a little more weight then. That's not really the way I feel. I don't like little, skinny bony women. Ew, you can see the cheerios go down her throat. That's a no. I like a girl with some meat on her that can help me move a coach. I don't have to call my friends.

Yeah, yeah, I go kids. If I can give any advise to anybody, oh yeah, I will give my kids away. If you anyone of you have 1500 dollars, you can have the one that is good at math. Keep your numbers low. When you start having kids, keep your numbers low.

Let's just say you go out on a night like tonight where you spend a whole bunch of your money. You get back home. It's just you and her. You set the mood. You put the lights down low. You put on some music. Hugging goes to kissing. Kissing goes to feeling. Feeling goes to gropping. You are around 3rd base. You are about to do your thang. She goes, "Wait, Wait. I just want you to hold me." Hold me? Like that's it? "If you can't hold me, you are not sensitive to my emotional needs as a woman." Fellas you can't get mad. You can't get loud. Just accept it. You are not getting any.

Keep her attracted to yourself. Kiss her goodnight, and take her shopping the next day. The key to a women's heart is some place in a damn mall.

"Yeah, we are shopping for you today. We are not shopping for big daddy. We are shopping for you. You see those dresses you like there -- 1200 a piece. They only got 7 different colors. Get them down right now. Tennis bracelet? I even didn't know you played. Alright. You want the big diamonds? Sure. Oh go to the cash register now? Oh no no. I was thinking we can stand here and hold all of this. Yeah like last night -- just feeling it without actually getting it.

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