Saturday, September 13, 2014

David Alan Grier Runs the Los Angeles Marathon for 6 hours and 23 minutes best personal time

I actually did some sports myself. I ran a marathon.  Last year I ran my first marathon. It was a Los Angeles Marathon. I finished. Uhm. Let's not get too excited now. It took me 6 hours and 23 minutes. People were walking faster than I was running at the end of this race. And I trained for it. You know. Cause you get all hyped up. Cause on the marathon day, after months of training, you  have to wake up 5:30 in the morning. You go to downtown Los Angeles -- thirty thousand people all different shapes and sizes and color races. Everybody is running the marathon.

And everybody is grouped together in their marathon clubs. You know. Like you got the old lady over here is the grandma running club. And you can tell by t shirts. Cause they got cute little messages that the kids made. They put it on, and it would sparkle with peanuts and stuff.  Then you have the military guys over here. They are hard.  They're wearing camouflage shorty shorts and combat boots, singing a marathon song. You know, "We will run a marathon. We are about to get it on." So they are hard.

So finally at 6 AM. There's a guy on the podium that says, "Runners! Get on your mark! Get set! Pow!" And you are running, and it's exciting.  You wave to your friends, "Look at me. I'm running a marathon." Ah it's exciting. It's exciting  for about a mile and half, "What we doing man? 25 more miles?" Now you're just running. Now about 5 miles, this is where society as we know it begins to break down. Grown men begin urinating on public streets, "I can't stop. I got the time." At mile 7, 8, they run out of food. Those slices of oranges, the power bars, now we're hungry and thirsty, but we're running a marathon. After a couple of miles, we become like a pack of wild animals. We were snatching fruit off of trees. Then you get deep, deep into the race, mile 17, mile 19. You get to mile 20. They call this the wall. Cause a lot of people don't get pass the wall. Cause they start to hallucinating -- running the wrong way.

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