Best stage comedians at their funniest with punchlines all typed out for your enjoyment to read from richard pryor to louis c.k. and upcoming comedians with Youtube videos (monologue script)
Monday, September 15, 2014
Dane Cook complains about the Drive Thru at Burger King Because Customer Voice too High or too Low
We all have some crappy jobs, right? Everybody has a crappy job. Whatever. You got to do it. First job I had -- Burger King. He he ha ha. I'll come up there man. My brother got me the job. My brother got me the job. Yup. He was the manager. And he got me the job. You'll think it would be cool. You know. Because he is my bro. But he was a duck. He thought he was the burger king. You know what I'm saying. He would put me through drive thru every night.
Why do people assist on yelling at the drive thru. You know it's modern technology. I be there with my headset, "Hi, Welcome to burger king. May I take your order?"
"Blah bla Blah Bla!"
"Sir."
"Blah blah bla bla!"
"Excuse me Chewbaka. I'm bleeding from the ears here Pacino. Let's calm down. Alright we are dealing with food, not missiles here, governor, so drive around."
I would rather have people yell when people didn't talk loud enough. That drove me crazy. 10 cars are out there. I'll be like, "Hi Maim, may i take your order?"
"My squeek squeek. Pickles. Pickles. Cheese. Pickles.
"Main, can I help you."
"And the pickles. And the pickles."
"Apparently, you want pickles. Are you trying to molest me."
"Sauce. All over my body."
"Hurry. Somebody give her some sauce now. She wants it her way."
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They got the script wrong...
ReplyDeletehe's delivered this joke plenty of times with different variations
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