Friday, August 7, 2015

Jeff Allen's 20th Wedding Anniversary Spent in Hawaii with No Clue about Entertainment and Activities


My wife is here tonight. By the way, we are celebrating our 20th anniversary last July. Thank you. I knew it was the special anniversary, and I messed up the previous 19. I am not going to mess this one. I went to her about a month out. I asked her, "Where do you like to celebrate? I know this is going to be special." I was thinking restaurant. She almost hit me in the head with a brochures. She said, "Hawaii." You know. I would be happy staying home as long as near you buttercup. She goes, "You want to get near me. Get on the plane. I'm going to Hawaii."

It's the first time in 10 years my wife and I get away from home without children. And you parents know after 10 years... By the second day in Hawaii, we had no idea how to entertain ourselves. It was the most pathetic display of human behavior that I have ever witnessed. Two losers standing in a hotel lobby. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"You want to eat."

"Yeah, we can eat. That be good."

"What you want Mexican?"

"I don't know. Can we get Mexican in Hawaii?"

On the third day, we just did thing that came natural to us. We went to the beach, and started yelling at people's kid. "Yeah, leave your little sister alone. Never mind who are we."

"We are the losers of beach patrol of Tennessee."

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