Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Henry Cho talks about How to handle Talkative Women in his Knoxville Tennessee Accent


Thank you very much. You guys are too kind. My name is Henry Cho. I'm full blooded Korean. I was born and raised in Knoxville, Tenseness. I don't speak Korean though cause they didn't offer it in high school. I took spanish.

I did go to Korea though one time. 25 years ago, I went with my dad. It's weird because Korean people walk up to and start talking to me. I don't know what to do. I'm like, "How are you all doing? Get away from me." I did go with my dad. This is where you are going to follow me on this. Back in Knoxville, we are the only Asian people. My dad is the only Asian man that I have ever seen in my life before I went to Korea. So I can pick my dad at any crowd like that. This reverse on me in Korea. We got in the plane. Then he walked 20 feet away. And I just lost him, "Ahhhh." I found him like an hour later. "Dad, don't you ever leave me man. They're talking to me."

The only traveling I do now, across the world, is mission trips -- 3rd world countries. You know. I was India. The weirdest thing that they don't got there, show curtains. Unbelievable. No show curtains. Same kind of bathroom. No shower curtains. The water goes everywhere. So I start thinking, "Wow. the movie, psycho, will not work here." There be no, "whff." There be, "what are you doing here man. Close the door. It's cold."

One thing I noticed in 3rd world countries that they all have in common is lack of food. We have so much food in this country. It's unbelievable. We have the food network. We have eating competition. We have so much food that we develop allergies to food. Doesn't happen in 3rd world. I guarantee you. There is no one in Honduras that is lactose intolerant. Not one kid that was given a sandwich, in a little village in India, not one kid went, "Uh, does that have peanut butter?" No peanut butter by the way.

My wife is going to Haiti soon. My wife is awesome. We have been married for 13 years. 13 years of marriage is great. I'm in show biz. That's like a 112. My wife is great. My wife is like most wives. My wife can find anything. The other day, my oldest boy lost his DS in my truck. He and I go looking for it. My truck is not dirty. It's not in there. I came in like, "Honey, not in there." She was like, "Well, let me go look." I'm like, "Go look." No, she was outside when I said that. So she is back in 30 seconds, "It was like right there." I'm like, "Man." She walks off. And my boy looks at me, and goes, "How she do that?" I'm like, "Well, she is a witch. Have you ever seen your mom float. Witches can't float. Your mom is a witch."

It's like mom can find anything except for her own cellphone. My wife loses her cellphone like 20 times a day. She has two phones so she can find the other phone. Luckily she is on her own 5 circle of friends, so it's cheaper. I thought with all the cellphones that she'll be done with talking now, but she don't. You know. Women have to talk. This is scientific fact. I'm not being sexist. Women use more words than men. It's not like 12 more. It's like thousands more. If they don't get it out, they build like rollover minutes. And we pay the penalty. If my wife finds out that I don't care about 95% of the stuff like our house, I don't care about my house, our lives would be so much smoother.

Other day I was watching the ball game. She just paused it. She goes, "Henry, do you like these curtains?" I said, "Yes."

"What do you like about them?"

"No."

One of those would get you out, right?

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