Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Why Back to the Future is the Weirdest Movie by John Mulaney

Back then we would go see movies, any movies, like back to the future. That was the movie that everyone can see. Kids can see it. Great movie, right? I re-watched it recently. It's a very weird movie. Marty McFly is a 17 year old high school student. Who's best friend is a disgraced nuclear physicist.

And I shed you not. They never explained how they became friends. They never explained it. Not even in a lazy way like, "Remember when we met in the science building?" Like they don't even do that. And we were all fine with it. We were like, "What? Who's the best friend?"

A disgrace Nuclear physicist?

Alright, proceed.

What a strange movie to sell, to be a family movie. 2 guys that had to go in and do that -- They had to be like, "Ok. We got an idea for the next big action family comedy. Alright, it's going to be a guy named Marty. And he is very lazy. He always sleeping late."

Okay. Is he cool like Ferris Bueller?

No. But he does have his best friend. You know. Who is a disgrace Nuclear Physics.

I'm confused here. This best friend. Is it another student?

No. No. No. This guy is like 40 or 80... Even we don't know how old this guy supposed to be. But one day the boy and the scientist go back in time, and they build a time machine. Whow.

Ok. I see where you are going here. They build a time machine. And they go back in time. And they stop the Kennedy Assassination.

Ah... that is a very good idea. We didn't even think of that.

Alright, do they do with the time machine?

Well, now, I am embarrass to say. Alright, alright, we thought it would be funny... You know... If the boy, if he went back in time... You know... And tries to freak with his mom... I don't... We thought it would be fun for people... Good point. He doesn't get to. He doesn't get to. His family friend name Bif... He comes in and tries to rape the mom in front of the son. The dad has to beat the rapist off of her. And we are going to imply that a white man wrote the song, Johnny be good, so we are going to take that away from him.

Well this is the best movie idea that I have ever heard in my life. We are going to make 3 of them. You say they are going to the past. How about we call it Back to the Past.

No. No. No. Back to the Future.

Right. But you say. They go to the past.


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