Friday, April 22, 2016

Boy Band Sausage Party featuring Bobby Lee's Butt Tattoo Hosted by Steve Bryne

I would like to tell you all about my dream that I thought I would fulfill here tonight. Now, I was up here earlier, talking about different kinds of music. How I don't like dancing. That's not true. I love dancing. Love it. And one of my dreams was to always be in a boy band. Yeah. And I thought to myself, "You know what Steve. You are only one. You need a few more members." See, I want to create my own boy-band.

I just need a few good men. You, come on up here. You, up here. Come on up here. Get up here. I need your demographic. Let's go mustache. Yeah, let's go. Wait. Hold on. Oh yeah. Look at this one. With the glasses. Let's go. With the glasses. Let's go. I need that heat. Alright, good to see you fellas. Good to have you. Come up here. Alright gentlemen. Move it down a little bit. Let's just stand on this line here. Ok. Wow. Give them a round of applause. I got to grab something.

Here's what's going to go down. I am going to walk you girls. And I repeat. You girls. You are not men yet. What are you laughing at. I am going to, repeat, the hottest dance routine that you have ever been a part of in your life. For example, when I do this. What would you do? You would copy. You will follow my heat. Keep up. Now, eventually I am going to post up. What happens when I post up? You all kick back and relax. Why? Because I will jump start solo style. See. Each one of us is going to show case off our own hot moves for one special one lady. As you all know. In every boy band video, they only pick one girl. And this girl is america. She sitting there. Basically, going, "There is so many flavors. I do not know which one I want." So we need america up here. Boom. Let's go. Girl in the white. Come on up here darling. What's your name? How about that for amber everybody. Amber, you have a seat right there. Thank you. Your welcome.

As you all know, every boy band, they all have their real full names. Not tonight. We are going to make it more marketable. We are going to give each one of these gentleman a cute boy band nickname. Ok. What is your real full name, my friend?
Are you illegal? How come you can't tell me the whole... I just want to get a vibe from you.
Alonzo Margariana
Ok ok. Cute one. You are going to get a cute boy band name. Tonight you are going to become Prison Freak Toy.
Real Full name
David Mutree
You get uncle creepy.
Real full name
Jay Park
Good Good. here is something about this gentleman. Very nice guy. Sweet demur. Behind close doors. Sexually he is a degenerate. Stay away ladies. He is a bull in a china shop. You hear terms like Donkey Punch. Dirty Sanchez. Who does this? He does that? Ok. Tonight. You become Tequila.
Real Full name
David Wright

Ok, i have a gift that my friends know about. I can put my hand in front of somebody's hip, and get their sexual history. Oh, romantic. Hold up. I will go down the line. Quick. Very quick. I'm not getting anything. I will come back to you. Don't take offense to that. I can't. I just...

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