Jokoy on How to make the Perfect Rice without Rice Cooker and Measuring Cup

That’s all we ate was rice. That’s the key to an asian household, rice. That sh** is always cooking. There’s always a pot of rice, cooking.  The rice cooker is always on. You can get locked in asian person’s house, and all the lights are off. You can find the kitchen. Just look for that little square, red light.  There’s the f**** rice right there. 

I sent my son to go get rice.  The other day, I said, “Joe, go get a bag of rice.” And he ran down a couple of aisles. And he came back with a little a** bag of rice.  It was in his hand like that. Even though I knew that was the bag of rice he suppose to get, I started to reflect back when I was his age.  The bag of rice that I had to get was the size of this f**** stool. That sh** was twice my body weight, and I had to drag that sh** to my mom.  It’s the big nylon bag, with Chinese writing on the front.  It said, “50 pounds,” at the bottom of it.  My mom would set that back in the kitchen, next to the trash can. Top just ripped open. Inside that bag was a coffee mug with a broken handle.  She called that a measuring cup. 

She taught me how to make rice. I remember that day. 

“I’m going to teach you how to make rice.  It’s the only time I’m going to teach you.”

“Okay. How do I do it?”

“You take a cup of scoop of rice Joseph. Put it in the pot. Put water in the pot, and swish it around. Clean the rice like that.  If the waters cloudy, the water is dirty. Pour that water out.  Put more water in it. And swish it around. If the water still cloudy, the water is still dirty.  Pour that water out. Continue that process Joseph until the water is clear.  When the water is clear, add water. It’s ready to cook. “

“Then how much water do I add?” 

“Just fill it to this line, Joseph.” 

This is how you cook perfect rice.  I want the world to know that right now.  This is the ancient f**** secret. Every asian knows how to make rice. And this how you do it. You don’t need a measuring cup, and you don’t need f*** rice cooker.  All you need is rice, a pot, and this f**** line right here.