Wednesday, June 11, 2014

James Adomian loves Playing Gay Football at Center Position with the Hottest Quarterback

Hey Y'all, How you doing? Uh, I'm excited because football season is around the corner. Yeah, I play football for many years. I'm just curious. Anybody else here play football? No? Oh okay, I got a couple of them. Were you by any chance a closeted gay kid on the football team, like I was? That was fun. That was fun. I was really good at that. You should try it sometimes if you have eligibility. I was actually a center. That was the position I played, and center is the perfect position for a gay kid for the football team. Because you are the one bent over and you are hiking the ball through your legs to the quarterback, the hottest guy in the known universe. And that's your job. And you just like, "I'm ready whenever you are, Patrick." That's obviously not my radio voice, but that's still my inner closet voice that I carried with me. Outwardly, it's more like, "Alright dudes, let's show this other Christian team which side Jesus wants to kick ass. And I know what you want to do, Patrick. I don't need to know the snap count because I can feel the energy in your fingers. And you want the ball now. And now I gonna keep all the other boys away from you. You're mine." I was good at football. That's how  you play that sport. Well, I should change Patrick's name because he is a real guy. He's out there.

So I am gay. I'm openly gay. It's my thing. I'm a proud homo american. That's a weird. That's a phrase maybe George W. Bush would have used, "I'm proud of all those homo americans out there. And I'm solely salute for their service. But I firmly believe that the constitution between 1 man and 1 woman. God bless you all to death."

I'm gay. Sorry ladies. Your welcome fellas. Are there any gay people here tonight? I'm just curious. We got a few. That's alright. That's enough so we can fight our way out of here if we have to. Is anybody here in the closet? Uh, I thought I check as long as I'm asking. I think it would be amusing if you could pull off being a public figure and be openly in the closet. If you can somehow make that happen, like a comedian. Like, "it's my thing. I'm a comic, and I'm in the closet. What? It's my life. I talk about it on stage. You gonna see my show, you gonna see some hot closeted comedy.

The guy come on the street, and says, "I want to know you sexually." I look him right in the eyes, and I said, "Never mind what I said. The point is words were exchange. And maybe something else. You don't know. I'm telling it as it may or may not be, here in the closet. Open the door. Take a peek. Then close the door. We like it dark in here. I do my thing. You do your thing. I pretend to do your thing."

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