Best stage comedians at their funniest with punchlines all typed out for your enjoyment to read from richard pryor to louis c.k. and upcoming comedians with Youtube videos (monologue script)
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Christian Comedian, Michael Junior, Out Prays the Professional Priest
I remember going to church as an adult, right. For the first time I started going to church, and I would walk in. And the pasture said, "I want you to pray with your neighbor." And I'm like, "My neighbor don't go to this church. You want me to call my neighbor on the phone? That's creepy. I ain't going to do that."
And then he explained to me. Your neighbor is the person sitting right next to you. Listen. I'm brand new at this christian stuff. I don't. I don't even know I'm suppose to pray out loud. Let alone this lady. I don't even know this lady. What am I suppose to pray about? "Lord help these bump goes down on this lady's face." I don't know what to pray about. I don't know what to pray about, right.
She went first, praying all good. She must have been John's Baptist Little sister. She was like, "Dear heavenly father, you said your word in the sixth chapter, on the 33rd verse, the book of Matthew's, 600 first word on page 1248, Lord you said, but see as in search for anywhere, e as in excellent, k as in kingdom, alpha Lisa, jay ray, Jehovah, rota." I'm thinking, "Man she even knows her nick names."
Now, it's my turn to pray, right. But I don't have the spiritual vocabulary as this... But I am not going to let her out pray me, "So OK god. First of all you are a good people. You know you are good. Lord, you were good to the last drop. Lord, uh. Lord, I just got obey
my thirst lord. You know cause choosy mom choose Jesus, so... Is the rocket red glare lord? It gave proof to the light lord. I believe I can fly. A men."
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