Monday, November 16, 2015

Tammy Pescatelli joins Playboy Mansion Party with Donald Trump and Paris Hilton

I did a charity show for the playboy foundation. I don't know what their charity is... 13 year old boys go blind for reading too much magazines. I don't know.

I don't know. I go to this party. I don't fit in. I'm not very girly. These girls are like size double zero. I mean they are beautiful, but they are mean because they are hungry. You know. What the?!

I'm just a girl from the neighborhood. You know who was there? That Paris Hilton Girl -- Oh, I am proud of her. She is breaking down barrier, really. Proof you don't have to be poor to be white trash. You know what I mean. Somebody needs to say that.

You don't have to be perfect. What's going on women. We don't have to be perfect. You can't be. This girl came up to me and goes, "Uhm... Excuse me. Who did your boobs?"

I go, "God."

She goes, "Where his office?"

I go, "Juerluseum. Now get away from me. Don't you think if I have that kind of money, I would have my nose fix first. What's wrong with you?"

Who cares. I'm a female comedian. How good looking do I have to be? Who said the president, Rosanne. I win. You know. Who cares? I said it. I don't care. What are you going to do? My people are a phone call away.

It's just fun for me. I don't know what I was doing at that stupid party. I drank a little bit too much. When women get drunk, they have to announce it, "I'm drunk. Oooh." Hi five. Hi five.

You know who was there at the stupid party? Donald Trump. His hair is so bad that it would be less distracting if he hired a hairy midget to sit on his head. What the hell is going on? I got so distracted...

No comments:

Post a Comment