Comedian John Mulaney chases Lady in Queens Long Island by mistake

I live here for a while now, and there is a new thing where like late at night on the street where women see me as a threat. That is funny. Yeah. It's kind of flattering on it's on way, but at the same time it's weird because I'm still afraid of being kidnapped.

But I give here a best example of this. A couple of months ago, I'm at a subway station in Long Island city Queens. Oh yeah. Do go if you get the chance, a beautiful place. I'm changing between subway trains, and it's 2 o clock in the morning. And you have to walk down this long corridor in order to change trains, 2 o clock in the morning. It's just me and this woman. And she is walking a few yards ahead of me. And we're walking down. And she starts giving this like, "the over the shoulder." Like that. And then she starts picking up the pace. She starts to walk a lot faster.

So I think, "Oh, she must here the train coming." You know. Or she feels it in her feet like a native american in the movies. So I start to sprint down the hallway at her. And she looks back, and was like, "ahhhh." Then she gets chased. So we're sprinting down the corridor at 2 o clock in the morning. And I'm gaining on her. I'm gaining on her, and we're at the end of the hallway. And she goes into that dead end shuffle. You know. What women do when you chase them.

And I'm almost there. I'm almost at her. Then it dawns on me, "Oh she's running away from me." Because in her eyes, I'm an adult. And adults rape each other -- kind of a lot. So I want to go up her, and be like, "whow. no. no. no. no. I'm not like a, a, a... like a man." I'm just a stupid punk.