Louis CK describes tits in his breast way he can on How and Why the addiction

We love women a lot -- all men do. And we just look at you. I just look at women, "urrr," like there's cake behind the window, "urrr."

I was walking in New York once, and there's this two cute little women walking behind me. And I was trying to walk slowly, so I can hear what they were saying to each other. You know. Because they were cute. So I wanted to hear them. That would help me in anyway.

 "Don't you wish the guy in front of us would squeeze our tits for one second."

 "Okay."

 We have a flaw in all men that we would do that. If you were a woman, you can ask any guy on planet earth, "Can you squeeze my tits for one second?" And one hundred percent of us would go, "Oh yes of course." That doesn't matter. I can do open heart surgery, "Yeah, ok." He is not your tits don't worry about him.

 I don't know why we love tits so much. Some people say because we breast feed, but so do women. Well, you know -- Baby women, grown up women don't usually... You don't see a 68 year woman like... Weaver like sucking milk, on a young woman's tits, "Thank you Debra. I will see you tomorrow." It's not the usual thing.

 The elderly breast feeding a young, except for the end of the grapes of wrath. I didn't mean to ruin the ending for you, but you should have been reading it by now. If you read the grapes of wrath, that's how it ends. A old, dying man sucking on a young lady's tits. And then the book is over. And you're like, "omg what happen." There's no book in that genre. A dense, classic book that ends with one line of pornographic language.

 Have you ever been in a crowded area, and you have to squeeze in, and you elbow touches a tit. I be like, "I just touched a tit. I know i did because the male's elbow is very sensitive." You can drive a nail in it, and I will not be able to feel it. But a tit, through a shirt, a sweater, and a jacket, and her shirt, a sweater, and a jacket, and a bra, "it's a tit. I know it. It's rare to touch one tit. It's like a 4 leaf clover. The only time you were able to touch one tit is when it was by accident. Everything in moderation.