Monday, August 25, 2014

Dave Chappelle Sesame Street Impressions of Big Bird and Count Dracula and Snuffleupagus and Cookie Monster



I turn on Sesame Street. I'm like, "oh, Sesame Street. It's much better cause you can learn how to count and spell. Now, I'm watching it as an adult, and I realized Sesame teaches kids other things. It teaches kids how to judge people and label people. That's right. There's a character on there name Oscar. They treat this guy like shit, the entire show. They judge him right in his face, "Oscar, you are so mean. Isn't he kids?"

"Yeah Oscar, you're a grouch."

He's like, "Bitch, I live in a trash can! And nobody is helping me."

And you wonder why kids step over homeless people, "Get it together grouch. Get a job grouch."

Nobody tell me how to get to Sesame Street. That is a terrible place. I wouldn't go there if I knew. Who would want to live in a neighborhood like that, a 6 foot pigeon walking around, an elephant who's a junkie, "hi bird." Yeah, that's right Snuffy, "Hi bird, I'm sick. I need some snack bird."

And cookie monster with his eyes popping out of head, "Cookie! Cookie! Cookie!" Like uh, what kind of cookies are you talking about?

And they had the nerve to put a pimp on there. They did not come out and say he's a pimp, but I know a pimp when I see one. They call them the count. He had a cape and everything. He says the pimping, "Where is my money? You've been late 4 times. I've been counting. How many times must I smack you before you act right? Psh 1, psh 2, 2 smacks. Ha ha ha ha ha."

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