Chappelle is back on the Road No One Home Depot

You know how I am getting old. This is embarrassing but… I was in my hotel room. I’m not going to lie. I was jerking off. And I was really sweating it out.  This is when I knew I was old. I gave up in the middle like nothing ever happened. I don’t like to look at my wee wee anymore. My wee wee look distinguish. It’s old, old looking wee wee. It got salt and pepper hair on it, all around it. My wee wee look like Morgan freeman in the 90s, without the dots. My wee wee narrates, “Dave pulled me out and start jerking me around. Jerking me around. We both knew it was not coming out.”

I see my age in my children.  I came home from the road, not long ago. I was gone for weeks, and weeks. When I cam back nobody was home. Not one family though that the… maybe I would like to see them when I got back. Like they knew I was coming back, but they just… just weren’t home. That sh** was a wakeup call. You know… when my kids were little, and tour bus pull up the house, those mother f*** would spill out, “Dad is home! Hoorayyyy!”

They would hug me and kiss me. And then when the years got on, they got less interested, “Look everybody. It’s Mr. Promises back from the road.” 

An empty house is some cold sh**.  I went to my oldest son’s room, “Hello hello.”

He was gone.