Tuesday, July 15, 2014

iLiza Shlesinger talks about Girls Night Out Fun Drunk Time About Hating Each Other


Girls hate each other. She hates you, especially during the day. But when the moon comes up and there is white wine involve, "Oh my gawd, Stacy! You look amazing! I freaking love you. You notice the more drunker you get, the more spanish you speaking. "Oh mama sita. Muy caliente. Whoooo! Freakin love you chica."

But the more love you give to one girlfriend, the more love you must take away from another girlfriend. It's how we keep balance in the girl universe. "I love you. I love you I do. You know who I hate -- BECKY! She's a bitch. I hate her; eventhough, she drove me here, and I"m wearing her top.  Can I just tell you that? Can you not tell her that? Will you promise? Do you... will you not tell her? Do you pinky square? Do you pinky square? Even when we are freakin grown women that pays taxes and votes... This is iron clad. Do you pinky square? Come here. Take my hand. I want to talk to you here. No. Like earlier. She was like being like a bitch. Like what's her problem. I was like why you been like so rude. What like are you like bi polar, maniac. Like I freely use these phychological terms that I don't know what i'm talking about. Wait. wait. Is she looking? Did she hear me talking about her? Pretend we are not talking about her. Is she gone? Like earlier she was like being passive agressive. And like crazy. And like Muahahahahahahah."

Like she was being like a freak. Disrespecting me. I'm like no. When you do it, it's fine. Right? Because we get each other. Because we are both pices, which means nothing. Do you want to do that? Do you want to do a girls night? Freak yah! Why don't you come over? US weekly, Jennifer Aniston, hangout, but actually, watch a movie, and braid hairs, boogie board, light as a feather, have some candy, have some cake, have some cookie, have some martini, and a low fat pizza, and a gawd damn muffin, have a piece of cake and grande, 50 shades of gray. Sounds great Cindy! Sit on your couch till 2AM with no boy to makeout with. You have Grace Ananotomy on dvd? Awesome. Pop it in let's, let's. Where's your brother.