Steve Martin Accepting the Mark Twain Award Speech

Mr. President. Supreme Court Justices. Your Royal Highness. And Others.

I'm so proud to be here in Washington D.C. (which i have just recently learned is the Nation's Capital). And to receive this coveted Mark Twain Award, which is the only significant american award for comedy (except for money).

If in my comedy career, if I have made you laugh once, I have done my job. If I have made you laugh twice, then I am very proud. If I have made you laugh three times, then I am thrilled. If I have made you laugh four times, which is twice as many as two times, then I am ecstatic. If I have made you laugh five or possibly six times, but I feel like I am losing you, what better time than now to take amount and recount all the awards I have received.

In 1969, I won an Emmy for riding on the Smothers Brother Comedy Hour. Then again, in 2005... I won the Mark Twain Prize, but of course the Mark Twain Prize is very special to me (cause it is more recent).

I was first introduce to comedy at age of six. This began (what was known) as my dark period. It is hard to believe that my career is still growing strong. Especially, considering 3 years ago I passed away. I guess that's called momentum.

When I look at the list of people who've been given this award, it makes me very satisfied. When I look at the list of people who HAVE NOT given this award, it make me even more satisfied.

I want to thank all the performers here tonight who flew in and were so funny. I am so flattered that they shared their time and their brilliance and their talents. It must be hard to find a dozen people or so who have these kind of skill, and yet so disparate to be on television.