Friday, January 15, 2016

Should I have kids by Sebastian Maniscalco

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You know I have a huge family. I got a sister. But I don't know. I don't know if I want kids of my own. I'm at this point now...
1 comment:
Thursday, January 14, 2016

Wet n Wild Palm Springs Waterslide Black Hole Bit by Sebastian Maniscalco Live

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I did have a good summer. I took my niece to the Wet n Wild Palm Springs water-slide. Anybody have been in the Wet n Wild Palm Springs wa...

O'Hare Airport Busy Check In and tough on Baggage Weight by Sebastian Maniscalco

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It's time for me to check in, right. Now the check in process at the O'Hare airport, they don't even want to look at you -- h...
Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Hampton Inn & Suites Hotel Late check In by Gabriel Iglesias

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By the way you guys, I want to let you know now, here in this theater and all over the world, watching this special. If you ever see me i...

Thundercats Craziest New Episode Watch in Home Movie by Lavell Crawford

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Your mama got your back. Your mama wiped your ass; wiped your nose; wiped your whole damn face -- all with the same rag. I learned my les...
1 comment:
Monday, January 11, 2016

Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion 200 million Dollars Entrance Party by Pauly Shore

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I'm just happy that I'm still allowed to go to the playboy mansion. That's all I really cared about now. I square to gawd. Th...
Friday, January 8, 2016

In the Jungle the Lion Hunts, and The Cheetah Dust Through the Gazelle by Richard Pryor

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In the jungle, when you see a rabbit, you get nervous. Cause the rabbit will be looking at you like, "..." "Roll the win...
Thursday, January 7, 2016

Americans Gun Amendment Rights Laws Controversy by Rich Hall

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People ask me all the time, "So Rich, does everyone in America owns an assault rifle? Is it mandatory?" "Um. No." ...

American Gun Violence Control Safety Protection Rights Issue by Jim Jefferies

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I'm all for 2nd amendment rights. I think you all should have guns. It's in your constitution. What I am not for is bullshit argu...
1 comment:
Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Aliens and UFO built the Pyramid documented in Netflix Documentaries Bit by Ryan Singer

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I love thinking about aliens and space. You don't have to convince me that Aliens built the pyramid. I got Netflix, which mean I alre...

Mrs. Meyers Liquid Hand Soap Coconut Scent Issue by Demetri Martin

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Clothing sizes are weird. They go small, medium, large, and then extra large, extra extra large, extra extra extra large. Something h...

Nsync Tour Irresistible Halftime Show Bit in NFL superbowl by Lewis Black

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Then it was halftime. Halftime to the Super Bowl was the best. Because halftime to the Superbowl have gotten exponentially worst eve...

Step on Lego Pain How it feels in the brain

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I can't hit my kids. I am not going to do it. It only teaches them how to lie. Don't put fear in them. But last week, I stepp...

Gabriel Inglesias describes Sexy Commercial in Telemundo Channel and Pepsi

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Man, this country. I love living here in the United States. I can't think of anywhere else I want to live. Some people would say, ...
Monday, January 4, 2016

The only Asian in Alabama by Jo Koy

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I'm in New York Baby. This is it. It's a long journey. I'm in New York dude. You know how long it took me to get here. I have...

Russians are the Scariest White People on Earth by Dan Soder

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I'm currently living in New York City, which you know, it's there. I have been living in New York about 6 years now. And when I f...
1 comment:
Thursday, December 31, 2015

Drew Thomas Learns the Importance of Fractions when Buying Weed

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White people, you got good weed. I commend you because you use discretion. You get your weed from somebody called the guy. I don't kn...
2 comments:
Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Bill Murray Ghost Buster Rants on Technology and R2D2 should Get Gas for Human Race

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Who think of all these high tech stuff anyways? You know. First they start with a digital watches, which tells you the time and numbers, t...
Monday, December 21, 2015

Steve Harvey Yells Yolanda Adams is Sexy because of Victoria Secret's Xmas Sale

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I have been hosting the gospel festival for four years now. I have been around. Sometimes you guys are trips on me. Sometimes you guys wi...
1 comment:
Friday, December 18, 2015

Bill Burr describes the most difficult Job for a mother is Actually an Easy Job

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We were watching the other day. Oprah was on there. She was interviewing some tramp. You know. She is giving this big ridiculous intro li...
Thursday, December 10, 2015

Jimmy O Yang questions if it's ok for Asian to say the N word in a rap song like Jay-z

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I was sitting here, on the passenger side. And let's pretend this is my black friend driving a car. He's like a skinny tall guy. ...
Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Muppets Fozzie Bear and Kermit do Stand up Comedy Collaboration Skit

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Ok, time once again for that fuzzy, furry, funny man -- the fabulous, freewheeling, fast and franic, Fozzi Bear. Hey, hey, hey. Wait, ...
1 comment:
Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Part of Dave Chappelle Sympathizes Kramer like Siegfried and Roy Tiger Mishap Bite to Throat

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They have a real life paparazzi. I see you. What do you think it is, a game? I'm watching out for the media. I'm like big foot. W...
Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Dance Dance Revolution Arcade Game with Iglesias Techno Music

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I said, "Frankie, whatever you want to do, let's do it." "Ok, can we go to arcade?" "Arcade? Dude, you h...
1 comment:
Monday, November 23, 2015

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Stirs Issue On New Song in Ronny Chieng Bit on MTV

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Hey Everybody, Thanks for coming down. Apples are red with thin edible skin and white flesh. Ok. As in oranges are rounder with orange co...
1 comment:
Monday, November 16, 2015

Tammy Pescatelli joins Playboy Mansion Party with Donald Trump and Paris Hilton

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I did a charity show for the playboy foundation. I don't know what their charity is... 13 year old boys go blind for reading too much...
Friday, November 6, 2015

Bob Proctor Impression of Sir Winston Churchill Judo of Insults

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Judo is where you take the strength of the other person's shot, and put them down. You don't win much doing that. You know. It...
Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Russell Peters anticipates Chinese Comedian in Hong Kong and Indian Accents different usages

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You know what really upset me when I went to Hong Kong. Where ever you go and perform, where ever I go they have local comedians open the...
Thursday, September 24, 2015

Dave Chappelle works at Burger King and Went to Jail twice

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It feels good to do stand up again. Not that I don't like stand up. I just don't like microphones. I'm sick of talking in the...
Friday, September 18, 2015

Discipline in Arab versus United States Teacher Described by Egyptian Clock Comedian

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Wow. I am really nervous up her on stage. That is not actually pronounce my name. It's actually Arabdomeabdee Mohamdfalal Shelaman Ab...

Drew Lynch Struggles During Date Life Giving Out Numbers on Americas Got Talent Finals

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So I'm currently not sexually active because I'm saving myself -- some money. I would never be a good parent because I don't ...
Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Demetri Martin describes a New Model Cigarettes that can Motivate Addicts to Quit

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Smoking is a big problem. We can't get people to quit smoking. And warnings don't work. I think you got to change the cigarette. ...
1 comment:
Thursday, September 10, 2015

Bill Burr loves Ebola and hates First Lady President Michelle Obama, and Hillary Clinton is like Tom Brady's Wife

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Alright, how are you? How is it going? Thank you for coming out in the wonderful evening. I just got back from southeast Asia. I did some...
1 comment:
Friday, August 14, 2015

Really Really 2 BAD words of all time by Elon Gold

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My nine year old boy -- He came home recently and he... It was the cutest story, 100% true story. He came home, and he said, "Daddy,...
4 comments:
Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Elon Gold makes Languages sound Funny with Russian French and Japanese Accent

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Accents to me are so strange. But languages are even weirder. Like the Russian accent, it's kind of weird. The Russian language -- Oh...
2 comments:
Monday, August 10, 2015

Mitch Hedberg famous Yogurt, Bigfoot, Pringles, Turkey, and Wait list Party of 3 bit

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Some Canadian television exposure, finally. I gotta find out when this airs, so when I come into this country, I'll be ready for the ...
1 comment:
Friday, August 7, 2015

Jeff Allen's 20th Wedding Anniversary Spent in Hawaii with No Clue about Entertainment and Activities

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My wife is here tonight. By the way, we are celebrating our 20th anniversary last July. Thank you. I knew it was the special anniversary,...
1 comment:

Donald Glover talks about Kids that are Sugar Addicts and Crave Cocoa puffs Vs Kix Vs Cheerios

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Kids love sugar. My brother, Steven, loves sugar. He loves sugar. We were not allowed to have any sugary cereal as a kid. We weren't....
1 comment:
Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Donald Glover Hates Kids and Rather Have AIDS over baby Babies thank you Condoms

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Kids are awful. You don't know. You don't know. Do you know the testament of how awful the kids are? I was walking down the stree...
33 comments:

Henry Cho talks about How to handle Talkative Women in his Knoxville Tennessee Accent

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Thank you very much. You guys are too kind. My name is Henry Cho. I'm full blooded Korean. I was born and raised in Knoxville, Tensen...
1 comment:
Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Bill Burr Disses Steve Jobs as Hero because Apple Tech Garbage Pollutes into the Ocean with Sea Life

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Actually nerd Jesus died last year, right? - Steve jobs. Yeah, he died, right? I know. I know. Lot of nerds are here tonight. I know. You...
1 comment:
Monday, August 3, 2015

Jim Gaffigan Loves McDonald's Fries Big Mac and admitting His Obsession

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I reference McDonalds a lot cause I go to McDonalds. I love the silence that follows that statement -- like I just admitted to subordinat...
3 comments:
Thursday, July 30, 2015

Chris Tucker describes Life with Michael Jackson in Neverland Story Singing Dancing and Joking Around

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Give it up for my boy, Michael Jackson. I miss him man. I miss him. King man -- he's a true life king. Did you all see him in a video...
5 comments:
Wednesday, July 29, 2015

KT Tatara describes ESPN Headliner About Jeremy Lin -- Chink in the Armor

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I really don't like to make a lot of Asian jokes. Man, we get made fun of all the time, right? We're the only minority that get ...