Saturday, July 27, 2019

Tinder Dating Advice from a Funny Man Sinbad himself




My daughter is trying to find a good man. I said, “Learn to be by yourself for a second. Don’t be crying.”

Look she is waving. You got a man. Why you waving your hand? You with a man. She’s like, “that’s right.” Look what you just did. “Be by yourself,” as you holding his hand. What was that about. “Yeah be by yourself. That’s what I am talking about.” 

Yeah, if he had done that. That’s right. “Oh really?”

You be in the parking lot, “what? What did I say? Slow down.”

You better love that man. He got you front row seats. At least it’s good for a show. See. How old are you. How old are you? 34? You still young man. You know. You know. 

My mom: Their generation: They know how to work it. My mom work. She knows how to build a patio, build a guest room.  They know how to work a brother back in the days. My dad was like a slave, “Do you need to put the roof up?” 

She look at her, “You are my man.  My man can do everything.”

All she had to do is give him some cool aide. Working. Work it. Work. Work Work. 

Cause my mom got style.  Young ladies you gotta get style back. You all angry. angry. Y’all angry. Y’all just… Just mad. Smile sometimes. You might have a good man. You just don’t know it. You just stay so angry. Ladies, what you y’all mad about? What y’all mad about? What? Because we are no good. Everyman no good? Everyman? See that’s one woman. Everyman? Did you date everybody? Or did you miss somebody? Maybe that’s the problem. You dating too many people. Pick one, and see what happens. 

Ok. I’m gonna go with that. What makes a man no good? I’m gonna help the ladies out. He lies? That’s how you make the relationship stay alive. If a man does not lie, the relationship is done because you ask questions that make no sense. So I have to lie.  If you don’t want me to lie, quit asking me questions. You keep asking me questions that you know that I have to lie at. 

“Do I look fat?”

“No. No.” 

If you weren’t fat, you wouldn’t ask. That is why you asked the question. Skinny people don’t say, “Do I look fat?” 

Skinny people say, “Do you want to eat? Would you like to have a sandwich?”

She just want to see how dumb you are when you tell the truth.  And for all you young men, don’t fall for this, “Even if it hurts me. Even if hurts… tell me the truth.” 

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